A note

[annabtg]

Re: yesterday's entry.

To those who had the time to leave comments before I disabled them - I read them, I took them into consideration and I have them saved for future reference. But I won't be replying. I don't think I can find anything to say. Truth is, whenever I think about these matters I get too pessimistic, I can't even find it in myself to say "thanks". A "thanks" means that the words you read meant something to you, made you feel better in some way. But right now, the only thing that makes me feel better is not thinking about it.

I realize I come off as extremely rude right now, but I don't want you guys to waste your time on me by giving me advice when I'm not in the state of mind to appreciate it. It's not fair. I'd rather chat to anyone of you on MSN about some random thing or other - but I'm not going to start a conversation because I don't want to inflict my presence on anyone. And in the future, if I want to rant, I won't leave comments enabled unless I am sure I can find it in myself to appreciate them as they deserve to be appreciated.

Please understand that I have nothing against you all. Quite the opposite; you are all great friends, and this is why I'm posting this. I do need the presence of my friends around me, I just can't bear to discuss my problems right now. I can only *rant* about them. Listening to advice will only make me feel worse, because I know my mind will just ignore you, and you guys don't deserve that. I'm here for anything but that.

If you still want to say something, you can do it here.

Sorry for everything.

See ya,
Anna.

Comments

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this, Paul. I'm really, really sorry I had to do it, and I felt so bad and ungrateful towards you and the other people who had left comments. I'm glad you understand.

And I'm still really sorry.

*hugs*

Anna.

[pgwfolc.livejournal.com]

Don't be sorry. Please.

Look how many people have posted here to say they understand. Most, if not all, of us have probably been in that situation at least once. It happens.

To me, the most important thing is honesty. That you be true to yourself, honest with yourself, and honest with the people around you (especially your friends).

If you'd lied and thanked me and told me it really helped and blah blah blah, that would have been bad. It would mean you didn't trust me as a friend. It would mean that you'd have to keep lying about it as the situation persisted. It would mean that I wouldn't be able to trust you the next time you said that it helped and blah blah blah. It would mean that your friends here wouldn't know what was really going on, and that ignorance could lead us to treat you inappropriately.

Thank you for having the courage to stand up and be honest. For being friend enough to trust us with the truth. You've made things better for yourself and for us.

In short: Don't apologize. You did the right thing. Thank you.

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

:)))

See ya,
Anna. :)))