Not again...

[annabtg]

You know that Lupin/Tonks angsty fic I was working on?

I finished it yesterday. I didn't have another magnificent strike of inspiration, just was in the mood for writing the rest. So I did. It took me hours, but that's not the problem. The problem is, it was a particular quote that inspired this story. I had even thought of where to go from there. But I couldn't make the beginning of my story to lead there. In the end, I managed to make the quote fit in, but the dialogue following it had to change. I hate it when this happens - I start off with an idea that the Muse takes to a different direction, and then the original idea must go to waste. *sigh* And it was such a good idea...

Not to mention, there's something wrong about this story. It feels wrong. And it's not just the stressing-out-before-I-post thingy. I can think of a few reasons this may be due to:

- The fact that it didn't go as I had planned it to. Not just the starting idea; I had a great idea for the end as well. But while I have it in my head like a chain of words, images and emotions indefinitely intertwined, I can't put it down to words. Part of it is really clear, part of it is fuzzy. And I can't make it work.

- The fact that it is angsty. Now, I'm all for angsty romances, but maybe I'm not in the mood for it right now.

- The timing. It's rt_challenge time, so why aren't I working on one of the prompts? Maybe I'm feeling guilty deep inside.

- The fact that I haven't been able to convey the image I wanted to. See, this story takes place in a playground. I've pictured one of the playgrounds I used to go to as a kid, with only a couple of changes; Remus and Tonks fit right there, and I can see the whole scene in my head in every little detail. But, there's the problem; I've been unable to show this to the reader. Truth is, while I always have clear images of everything in my head when I write, I've never managed to incorporate these images into a story. I'd blame it to my insufficient English, but I've never been able to do that in Greek either. I guess it takes some kind of special talent to describe images, which I don't have. But the problem isn't just that I can't describe the images, but also that I can't make them part of the story. Every time I try to describe a landscape, or a person, it feels... off. Instead of drawing the reader to the story, it alienates him. And in a story like this one, an image would have fitted like a glove.

God, how I wish I could draw.

I hope I won't be forced to leave this story rot in my hard drive - it started off so well... Maybe I'll need somebody's help with it. We'll see. For now, I must stop procrastinating and study a bit for school.

See ya,
Anna.

Comments

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the encouragement :)) A QuickDraw quill sounds like a plan *g*

See ya,
Anna.