...I've been typing for ten minutes now but I can't really find what I want to say. My thoughts are so clear and at the same time, so jumbled up.
Maybe I just want to talk to someone, period. Someone who does not have any issues at the moment, so they can listen to mine. It has been my preferred way of dealing with my issues for the longest time now.
The tricky part is, I know what my problem is: I worry too much, about things I shouldn't be worrying. I know the advice I'm going to get: Stop worrying. And it's useless, in the sense that I cannot put it into use: Worrying doesn't have an on/off switch. You either worry or you don't.
It all stems from my confidence issues. I'm currently worrying about things I've always been unsure about. And this is a worry completely different than the "OMG how am I ever going to finish this essay?!?!?" kind of worry - because deep inside, I trust my abilities to finish schoolwork in time, so worrying and complaining about it is more of a motivational and stress-relieving factor. (Indeed, whining serves a purpose, I firmly believe that!)
My current worries, though, are the kind that hits me right at my Achilles' heel. Which is why I can't turn it to productive and motivational worry; I can't take advantage of it, because it eats at me, and I spend too much energy healing the wounds it causes to make something good of it.
(I feel silly using all these metaphors; it looks as if I'm trying to showcase what I'm saying as really deep stuff.)
My point? ...Well, I'm not sure I have one. Just wanted to share these thoughts, I guess. And now I need to wrap this up real quick and go to bed, so no fancy epilogue.
Hugs,
Anna.
Maybe I just want to talk to someone, period. Someone who does not have any issues at the moment, so they can listen to mine. It has been my preferred way of dealing with my issues for the longest time now.
The tricky part is, I know what my problem is: I worry too much, about things I shouldn't be worrying. I know the advice I'm going to get: Stop worrying. And it's useless, in the sense that I cannot put it into use: Worrying doesn't have an on/off switch. You either worry or you don't.
It all stems from my confidence issues. I'm currently worrying about things I've always been unsure about. And this is a worry completely different than the "OMG how am I ever going to finish this essay?!?!?" kind of worry - because deep inside, I trust my abilities to finish schoolwork in time, so worrying and complaining about it is more of a motivational and stress-relieving factor. (Indeed, whining serves a purpose, I firmly believe that!)
My current worries, though, are the kind that hits me right at my Achilles' heel. Which is why I can't turn it to productive and motivational worry; I can't take advantage of it, because it eats at me, and I spend too much energy healing the wounds it causes to make something good of it.
(I feel silly using all these metaphors; it looks as if I'm trying to showcase what I'm saying as really deep stuff.)
My point? ...Well, I'm not sure I have one. Just wanted to share these thoughts, I guess. And now I need to wrap this up real quick and go to bed, so no fancy epilogue.
Hugs,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 12:19 am (UTC)...I guess my problem with saying this stuff in an one-on-one conversation is that I'd feel like forcing the other person to say something. And there's not really something to say here, so...
Still, thanks for being here. :) Maybe sometime I'll need to take up on the offer :)
Hugs,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 12:28 am (UTC)I can relate to that so much. I worry about things that seem ridiculous as well.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 12:38 am (UTC)Things are very relative and it's not because something is unimportant or benign to someone that they should be to everyone else as well. Don't let others convince you that your worries are ridiculous...
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 01:11 am (UTC)un beso y que estes bien.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 02:00 am (UTC)I love you, I know I haven't talked to you much and I'm never online, but you can always email me or drop a comment on my LiveJournal if you need anything. Let us know how things go :| I hope everythings gets better ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 02:06 am (UTC)But...
Always willing to listen. Go on for as long as you like. I'll understand. And I won't judge. And, if I have anything useful to say, I'll say it. If not, I won't pretend otherwise.
I've got nothing but time. I care about you, I respect you, and I trust you.
If you see me and you need to talk, don't hesitate. If you need to talk and you don't see me... my inbox is always open to you. You need to actually talk, that can be arranged, too.
I don't know if I'm the right person for the job, but anything I can do... let me know.
confidence issues...
Date: 2008-04-14 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 08:54 am (UTC)See ya,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 08:57 am (UTC)Still, there *is* such a thing as worrying too much. Everything has a limit. xD
See ya,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:01 am (UTC)Un beso,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:04 am (UTC)♥ ♥ ♥
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:07 am (UTC)See ya,
Anna.
Re: confidence issues...
Date: 2008-04-14 09:12 am (UTC)See ya,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:16 am (UTC)But truth is, I think it's part of you,thus your personnality, and that if you didn't worry, you ouldn't be so good at what you do. aka not the perfectionnist type, not the caring, friendly, wise type...not the Anna we love!
so, er...I know it's sometimes hard to carry on with it but, never stop worrying. Just try to worry less often. And learn to live with it. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:19 am (UTC)You know the mail, msn and phone number, right?
*re-hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:32 am (UTC)See ya,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:34 am (UTC)Take care + LOL,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 09:59 am (UTC)LOL+TGC (take good care) of you, too!
*****hugs*****
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 03:09 pm (UTC)Just wanted to tell you that if you ever wish to talk and I am on Messanger, I am ready always to listen to you carefully :)
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-04-14 06:38 pm (UTC)Hugs,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-15 08:50 pm (UTC)Schmooooooooze to the power of infinty ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-04-15 09:11 pm (UTC)Hugs,
Anna ♥