Teenage angst abounds
Dec. 4th, 2006 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annabtgI got pretty pissed at my mother this evening. Don't you just hate it when you are saying something very simple, and yet it just doesn't seem to GET THROUGH SOME PEOPLE'S THICK SKULLS?
*steams*
Okay, so I need a distraction, and since studying Anatomy or Physiology I for tomorrow will NOT do the trick, I suppose I could take a shot at sharing a bit of something that's been bugging me lately.
Let me start with a few rhetorical questions.
Why do I do this to myself?
Why can't I just keep myself into an "I don't like anyone at this point in time" attitude?
Everytime I (seem to) get over somebody, it's not long before someone else catches my eye. And then, instead of thinking, "no, don't go there, if it's meant to happen it will happen on its own," I just start thinking, "hmm, he's not so bad" and "I'm wondering whether he's single" and "surely it couldn't hurt to get to know him a bit better?"
And the result is always disastrous. *headdesk*
This summer, I forced myself out of this huge crush I had on that classmate of mine, with the thought that now that school was over, who knew when I'd see him again. And it was cool not having anyone in particular to think about. I even went on a couple of dates with someone (who proved himself not worthy of my time after all, but I wouldn't have known if I hadn't actually gone out with him a couple of times).
The only downside to not having anyone in particular to think about is... just that. It's nice to have your energy focused on one particular guy, so to speak. Like, getting ready to go someplace and make that extra effort just because he's going to be there. I realize this sounds a bit clingy/dependent, but it's not. It's just something to keep you busy.
But the thing is, it usually keeps you TOO busy, which is not good.
So, this time I managed to keep my attention away from particular people for the grand total of *gasp* four months. Until late October, when a bunch of new guys and gals who didn't know the Physiology I class had started since late September, came to attend.
And among them was Eric.
Eric is not his real name. His real name is that V name that has been haunting me lately. My friends and I just call him the Greek equivalent of Eric between us, because when I first saw him I thought he looks like an Eric - he's blond, tall and has blue eyes.
So, he caught my eye almost immediately. Because blond hair and, most of all, blue eyes do that to me. And instead of repelling it, I just let it get through. And now I'm banging my head against the wall, because I think I'm getting out of control. We don't know each other well; we spent some time talking once, but basically it's just a 'good morning' and that's it. But now I think his behaviour towards me has changed and that he's giving me strange/wary looks, which means that either I've become very obvious by the way (and the amount of time) I look at him, or I'm just imagining things.
Neither is good.
And I'm asking you, dear f-list, why do I keep doing that to myself? And why does it seem like I'm still on the high-school crush level? Shouldn't I have grown over it by now?
Sigh.
I'd ask you guys for advice, except I don't believe there's really anything you can tell me that could help. (If you've got something, though, by all means, share.) I just... thought it wouldn't hurt to share.
(Cath, you owe me many schmoooooooozes.)
See ya,
Anna.
*steams*
Okay, so I need a distraction, and since studying Anatomy or Physiology I for tomorrow will NOT do the trick, I suppose I could take a shot at sharing a bit of something that's been bugging me lately.
Let me start with a few rhetorical questions.
Why do I do this to myself?
Why can't I just keep myself into an "I don't like anyone at this point in time" attitude?
Everytime I (seem to) get over somebody, it's not long before someone else catches my eye. And then, instead of thinking, "no, don't go there, if it's meant to happen it will happen on its own," I just start thinking, "hmm, he's not so bad" and "I'm wondering whether he's single" and "surely it couldn't hurt to get to know him a bit better?"
And the result is always disastrous. *headdesk*
This summer, I forced myself out of this huge crush I had on that classmate of mine, with the thought that now that school was over, who knew when I'd see him again. And it was cool not having anyone in particular to think about. I even went on a couple of dates with someone (who proved himself not worthy of my time after all, but I wouldn't have known if I hadn't actually gone out with him a couple of times).
The only downside to not having anyone in particular to think about is... just that. It's nice to have your energy focused on one particular guy, so to speak. Like, getting ready to go someplace and make that extra effort just because he's going to be there. I realize this sounds a bit clingy/dependent, but it's not. It's just something to keep you busy.
But the thing is, it usually keeps you TOO busy, which is not good.
So, this time I managed to keep my attention away from particular people for the grand total of *gasp* four months. Until late October, when a bunch of new guys and gals who didn't know the Physiology I class had started since late September, came to attend.
And among them was Eric.
Eric is not his real name. His real name is that V name that has been haunting me lately. My friends and I just call him the Greek equivalent of Eric between us, because when I first saw him I thought he looks like an Eric - he's blond, tall and has blue eyes.
So, he caught my eye almost immediately. Because blond hair and, most of all, blue eyes do that to me. And instead of repelling it, I just let it get through. And now I'm banging my head against the wall, because I think I'm getting out of control. We don't know each other well; we spent some time talking once, but basically it's just a 'good morning' and that's it. But now I think his behaviour towards me has changed and that he's giving me strange/wary looks, which means that either I've become very obvious by the way (and the amount of time) I look at him, or I'm just imagining things.
Neither is good.
And I'm asking you, dear f-list, why do I keep doing that to myself? And why does it seem like I'm still on the high-school crush level? Shouldn't I have grown over it by now?
Sigh.
I'd ask you guys for advice, except I don't believe there's really anything you can tell me that could help. (If you've got something, though, by all means, share.) I just... thought it wouldn't hurt to share.
(Cath, you owe me many schmoooooooozes.)
See ya,
Anna.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-12-04 09:29 pm (UTC)I think it's a habit of all girls, no matter how old. And I must sympathize with you because I know exactly how you feel x.x
*hugs* ♥ Good luck with him, then. :]
no subject
Date: 2006-12-04 10:14 pm (UTC)Alas, if it were too easy to take a picture of him...
See ya,
Anna.
♥
no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 09:29 pm (UTC)Psht, what kind of stalker takes pictures? :P
*hides the fifty-thousand pictures that Annie has taken of her uberhot!crush.Annie ♥