Ponderings

[annabtg]

Just something that I've been thinking about for a very, very long time and I wanted to share.

I feel that my mind has become lazy. I feel less inclined to read through things that might interest me, but are long and written in English (e.g. Wikipedia entries, threads with subjects such as 'How to improve your writing', stuff like that). Also, I don't have the courage to sit down and write a detailed reply to something like the above. I have to pressure myself to do it - if I do it at all.

This goes along with my general, recent non-reading attitude. For the past - year? two years? - I read much less than I used to (both original fiction and fanfic).

The only reason I can find for it is that I had to study a lot for school this past couple of years. Granted, I didn't do the studying others did, but still, it was a lot. And since studying involves reading, I'm thinking that it either gave me a feeling of 'I want to do something different in my spare time' (overdose?) or, since I had to replace some of my spare-time reading with studying, I grew out of it somehow.

Whatever it is, I used to have fun reading and writing. And now a big part of this fun has been taken away from me, and I feel it's all because of me and my head. It's making me feel like an idiot :( Not to mention, I'm afraid it might grow worse, and extend itself to LJ, emails, or make me want to give up reading and writing fanfic entirely :(

I'm not sure there's a solution for it, so I'm not expecting you to jump up with advice. Just felt like sharing.

I'm off to get dressed now - going to meet with a friend.

Talk to you soon ♥

Comments

[judosas.livejournal.com]

I don't have any advice. I just know what you mean. Since I went to England, I haven't read much fic, let alone write. I've done some Kerth reading, and wrote for the fundraiser, but that's about it. I just can't bothered somehow. Which is silly, because I still love reading and writing. And I guess it's the same with you. I'm only hoping it's some sort of phase in growing up, although mine (and yours too, obviously) is taking quite a while. All I can say is wait and see what happens. Maybe after you settle into a new routine at university you'll find pleasure in it again.

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Sas. It's good to know I'm not alone here. Hopefully we'll both grow out of it eventually.

See ya,
Anna.

[gloryforever.livejournal.com]

I'm on the same boat. I really hope that we three grow out of it or that someone gives us a solution to it. Maybe if we were witches we could charm outselves?

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Alas, if we were witches we could do many things... *g*

See ya,
Anna.

[cant-talk-pizza.livejournal.com]

*hugs Anna*

I dunno.. I guess maybe you could *try* to just ease yourself back into reading and writing by starting small. Like, you could start reading small, easier books, or re-read ones that you used to like a lot, and then you could write little short stories? :S

♥

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the hugs, Rosie. *hugs back*

You're right, that would probably help me. It's kind of frustrating, though, to know that I just don't feel the need to grab a book and spend an evening reading anymore :(

Writing fic is not that much of a problem - especially since I have a long fic I want to finish on the works. But I don't find it in myself to write other things anymore. Especially things that need explaining :-/

See ya,
Anna.

[doranwen.livejournal.com]

Don't have anything else to say, but I'm listening . . . :)

((((((((((((((((((Anna))))))))))))))))))))

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Doran *hugs back*

See ya,
Anna.

[beansideirae.livejournal.com]

what she said. ((((((((anna)))))))

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Clarwyn *hugs*

See ya,
Anna.

[ksarasara.livejournal.com]

I don't know if it's entirely the same thing or not, but I find myself this way too sometimes. Though, it's more of a fact that I want to read and write (fic and fiction) desperately, but because I'm so busy with schoolwork and such, I don't let myself. Then, when I do have free time... I'm less than inclined to do the things I so desperately wanted to do. Sometimes I'm able to remedy this by allowing myself a little indulgence in the things I want to do. Though sometimes that doesn't work either. You bring up a good point, though. Maybe it's all the reading and writing I've got to do for class that just makes me less enthusiastic about doing it in my free time. :P

Anyway, I'm rambling (and not quite awake yet *says nothing about the fact that it's after 2pm*). If anything, you have my commisseration. ;)

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Sara *hugs and sympathizes*

See ya,
Anna.

[gloryforever.livejournal.com]

I just read the last three lines in your Bio and so I must ask ... what should I then refer to this sport as?

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

LOL.

I used to call that rugby; now I also use often 'American football'. I've learned to be cautious when I see the word 'football' in journals from the American continent - usually it's easy to guess which sport they're referring to, though. I know what you play is rugby (a fact that really impresses me, BTW).

I allow you (*snicker*) to call it anything you like in your journal. Just - in my journal, whenever you see me posting about watching football, it means soccer. I really have no relations with rugby, and it bugs me having to specify every time which football I'm referring to. (No, I can't call it soccer instead. That name is just wrong.)

See ya,
Anna.

[theblackshadow.livejournal.com]

You mentioned toward the end about giving up reading and writing fanfic entirely...I always wonder if that's going to happen to me. I, for one, do not feel the slightest bit inspired to write anymore. I also haven't been re-reading any favorite stories of mine, which is usually an activity I love to do. I doubt it'll be like that forever though. There's always something about fanfic I like, even if it's just the community and the other topics that people talk about...
Time is a huge factor for me now that I'm back in school. When I get the window of free time, it's like omigosh what should I do? This morning I watched a movie and commented on your LJ, for example. :)
But anyway, if there are certain hobbies I really love, they never go away. I've been playing guitar for 10 years, but I can tell you right of the bat I hardly played in 2006. :p Reading comes and goes with me, too, but I went through a rash of books this summer simply because I had some free time, and I wasn't having to read (much) at work. Probably a huge part of the reason I'm only following one fanfic right now is because I spend all day designing behind a computer. I don't want to look at the screen anymore even if a fanfic god wrote a fic LOL!
So that's my huge opinion, and it's probably time for me to get to work after this post LOL. If there was any point to this post at all, it would probably be that hobbies come and go, but that's not to say they're gone forever. I wouldn't worry too much for now. Maybe you just need some fresh inspiration.

[annabtg.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jen! :)

See ya,
Anna :)