Finals update #6
Jun. 1st, 2006 02:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annabtgThe Advanced Physics exam is over, and I've scored about 90-95%. Which should feel great, except that it doesn't, because this past couple of days I've been feeling awful. I'm guessing it's kind of a stress-induced manic depression.
It's mainly because of my parents' behaviour. You see, I was feeling really unsure about Adv. Physics, plus I couldn't study too much because... it was Adv. Physics! Not at all my favourite. So what did my parents do about that?
- Tuesday, 6.30 p.m.. Dad comes into my room to see whether I'm studying. Finds me online.
- Tuesday, 7 p.m.. Dad comes into my room again to see whether I'm studying. Finds me online.
- Tuesday, 7.30 p.m.. *Repeat*
Then I told him I had done a good revision three weeks ago for an exam my evening classes had given me, so I wouldn't need too much studying. He asked how much I'd scored at that exam. I told him it was about 85-90%. Only then did he stop coming over.
God, he's usually all right, because he knows I study regularly and do my homework. But that's what made it all the more annoying. I'm not used to being treated as if I'm a lazy bum.
Plus, he and Mom spent Wednesday discussing how much I should score if I want to get into Medicine, how the other kids have been scoring, stuff like that.
HELLO? I've said I DON'T KNOW what I want to study and that Medicine is just one of the things I'm considering. But because it's the more prestigious of all the choices I have, that means we have to calculate what I need to get there all the time, obviously. NOT. The scores won't be out until July, for crying out loud, but even knowing your score doesn't mean you know where you can get. These finals are a contest, basically; the highest your score is, the highest you get in the priority list for choosing what you want to study. So what if I'm a little lower and the available positions in Medicine are over by the time it's my turn? I'll go for Biology, or Chemistry. And they seemed to be all right with that during the whole year, so WHY stress me out now? Is it really all that necessary? ARGH.
To top it all, when I came back home and told my mom how I did at the exam, she started shrilling in joy. a) I HATE her shrilling. It's insufferable. b) Her being so joyful makes me think it would have been the end of the world if I had scored less. NEWSFLASH! It wouldn't have. And at the end of the day, it's me who'll get to the university, not her, and even if I hadn't scored as I have, so far, I know I'd have scored enough to be able to study something I'd like, because that's me, and that's what I do. I always perform well at exams and finals. So what's to worry about?
(Yes, yes, I know. They care about me. Sure. But that's not the way to show it.)
On the bright side, only Advanced Chemistry to go! The exam's on Saturday morning, and this subject is the last one that counts in my university access grade. Then, on Thursday, start my other finals, the ones for graduating from high school. Those are easier, of course :)
Hmm, supposedly I'm really good at Advanced Chemistry, but right now I'm not feeling very confident. See what stress can do, folks? Makes you lose faith in yourself. But that's not the way to go.
/me repeats: I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.
Whatever. I'm off to take a nap, folks; I have class at 6. p.m....
See ya,
Anna.
It's mainly because of my parents' behaviour. You see, I was feeling really unsure about Adv. Physics, plus I couldn't study too much because... it was Adv. Physics! Not at all my favourite. So what did my parents do about that?
- Tuesday, 6.30 p.m.. Dad comes into my room to see whether I'm studying. Finds me online.
- Tuesday, 7 p.m.. Dad comes into my room again to see whether I'm studying. Finds me online.
- Tuesday, 7.30 p.m.. *Repeat*
Then I told him I had done a good revision three weeks ago for an exam my evening classes had given me, so I wouldn't need too much studying. He asked how much I'd scored at that exam. I told him it was about 85-90%. Only then did he stop coming over.
God, he's usually all right, because he knows I study regularly and do my homework. But that's what made it all the more annoying. I'm not used to being treated as if I'm a lazy bum.
Plus, he and Mom spent Wednesday discussing how much I should score if I want to get into Medicine, how the other kids have been scoring, stuff like that.
HELLO? I've said I DON'T KNOW what I want to study and that Medicine is just one of the things I'm considering. But because it's the more prestigious of all the choices I have, that means we have to calculate what I need to get there all the time, obviously. NOT. The scores won't be out until July, for crying out loud, but even knowing your score doesn't mean you know where you can get. These finals are a contest, basically; the highest your score is, the highest you get in the priority list for choosing what you want to study. So what if I'm a little lower and the available positions in Medicine are over by the time it's my turn? I'll go for Biology, or Chemistry. And they seemed to be all right with that during the whole year, so WHY stress me out now? Is it really all that necessary? ARGH.
To top it all, when I came back home and told my mom how I did at the exam, she started shrilling in joy. a) I HATE her shrilling. It's insufferable. b) Her being so joyful makes me think it would have been the end of the world if I had scored less. NEWSFLASH! It wouldn't have. And at the end of the day, it's me who'll get to the university, not her, and even if I hadn't scored as I have, so far, I know I'd have scored enough to be able to study something I'd like, because that's me, and that's what I do. I always perform well at exams and finals. So what's to worry about?
(Yes, yes, I know. They care about me. Sure. But that's not the way to show it.)
On the bright side, only Advanced Chemistry to go! The exam's on Saturday morning, and this subject is the last one that counts in my university access grade. Then, on Thursday, start my other finals, the ones for graduating from high school. Those are easier, of course :)
Hmm, supposedly I'm really good at Advanced Chemistry, but right now I'm not feeling very confident. See what stress can do, folks? Makes you lose faith in yourself. But that's not the way to go.
/me repeats: I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.
Whatever. I'm off to take a nap, folks; I have class at 6. p.m....
See ya,
Anna.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 02:29 pm (UTC)WTG! And of course you can do it!
Go get'hem!
LOL+TC,
Carole
PS: don't be so hard with your mother, she's just so happy for you. Which is normal and part of her mum job. I guess you'll have to get with her shrillings .
PPS: OTOH, how did "Tassos the great" react?
PPPS: and a big hi to everyone.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 03:30 pm (UTC)As for parents... They want good things for you. They want you to be happy and successful. They want you to have the most options, to do the best you can, etc etc. This is a stressful time for them, too, you know. They want to see you succeed as much as you do, but, for the most part, they have to step back and watch what happens. They can't force you to apply yourself. Not really. They know pushing you would be counter-productive. So they have to sit back and force themselves to let you take care of yourself. It's not easy on them, but the fact that they've let you alone as much as they have shows a lot of confidence and trust.
And you've proven that it's well-placed, too. Which is what they're so happy about. You're doing well. You're taking care of yourself. You're succeeding. Of course they're happy!
(Though, yeah, having Mom be happy for me about certain things drives me nuts, too...)
I know, it's not easy on you. You're stressed and wrapped up in things. But try not to take things from them so personally. Try to understand that they're not behaving like this to put you down or put pressure on you. They're doing it because (a) they love you and want the best for you (b) having you succeed is a sign that they're succeeding as parents.
As for the qualifications... Qualifying for the hardest thing means that you have the most options open, not necessarily that you have to take the hardest option when it's available (though they'd probably like to see you do that).
Anyway... Congrats again on doing so well for yourself! Try to relax, and do the best you can. Let the rest sort itself out later, when it's time.
Good luck with chem. :)
Paul
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 03:48 pm (UTC)Congratulations on doing so well, and hope your parents figure out the right way to show their pride in you. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 05:41 pm (UTC)Thanks for the encouragement!
See ya,
Anna.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 05:52 pm (UTC)I'm feeling better now. Hopefully now that all the difficult subjects are gone, I'll be able to relax :)
See ya,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 05:53 pm (UTC)See ya,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 08:16 pm (UTC)Good luck on your exam! (Although we'll talk again until then, I should hope!) ^_^
See ya,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 09:05 pm (UTC)Aaw, I think it's sweet that your parents are so happy for you... though the shrilling? *winces* Yeah, that might hurt your ears a little.
Ah, hope you cheer up/feel a little better, dear.
♥ Annie
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 09:13 pm (UTC)< / in-your-sleep programming>
You'll do fine. And remember that as parents, part of our job is to annoy the living daylights out of our offspring.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 10:16 pm (UTC)See ya,
Anna :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 10:17 pm (UTC)Will now go to bed. (Perfect timing for your programming!)
See ya,
Anna.